These Roads were Made for…

Boston roads suck and I cannot lie. And NO ONE can deny. When you try to drive around, your destination won’t be found, and your only sound will be F***

Yes – that just happened. And yes – that was weird.

Ok.

Lesson of the day: Why Boston Roads Suck

Legend says that cows are the reason Boston roads are the most confusing roads ever. There is even an old postcard that muses, “In Boston town, of old renown, the gentle cows the pathways made, which grew the streets that keep the stranger quite dismayed.” Yes – you read that right. COWS were supposedly the reason the roads in this city are so messed up. I have another thought though. The first modern car as we know it was invented in 1893. That is over 250 years after people had settled into their daily routine in Boston.

As fun as those “speculations” are, the real reason is that Boston was founded in 1630 – and that the infrastructure development as a grid system wasn’t really introduced as a good option until 1638. Eight years after Boston’s hustle and bustle began. Using the grid system, you can typically navigate around the Never Eat Soggy Waffles (north/south/east/west) perspective. And even if you hit a dead-end, you can find your way back.

Minneapolis did a great job with this. Even after working downtown for a couple of weeks, you can pretty quickly figure out where you need to turn in order to get where you need to go. There are a few major highways and roads that take you to those major highways that go N/S/E/W. Living in Boston for three months, I still have no fricking idea how to navigate without my GPS (beyond the grocery store, the liquor store, Target and Mika’s doggie daycare). Driving to work or to BFF Jenny’s house (which I do VERY frequently), I had to GPS for the first 7+ times I went there.

Ask Smash – she drove out to Boston with me when I moved and literally thought she was going to die at one point because this road we were on had, like, 10 different intersections – and I had no idea where the hell I was supposed to go in a big ass moving truck with a car being pulled behind it. Good thing is we probably wouldn’t have been the ones to die.

*RANT WARNING*

Another stupid thing about these roads. If you miss an exit, you’re screwed. You won’t find another exit for like 20 miles. Which is fine in the country but not immediately outside a major city. For example: The Mass Pike (Massachusetts Pike – MA’s major highway) is very well travelled. Driving on this road, any day, you will find people REVERSING ON THE HIGHWAY to get to the exit they missed. This is not a joke! Who the heck would think that is a good idea? “Oh, shoot. Just missed my exit. LET’S REVERSE ON A 70 MPH ROAD WHERE PEOPLE ARE GOING 85MPH.” WTF. And to be honest, I wouldn’t even do that driving on the backroads of Wheaton, MN where my cabin is. A town of 1,600 people with no other town less that 15 miles away.

*RANT OVER*

You just saw my dark side. Oofdah.

I still want to think that cows are the reason Boston roads suck. Does that make me a Masshole – I think not! But you will find out that I do have Masshole tendencies once I have the time to write about Boston drivers. And the stupid crap they pull. And how I have started to be one of those stupid, crap-pulling drivers.

*I do not own the rights to the images used*