Man it has been a hot minute since I have posted anything!
A couple months ago one of my girlfriends and I were talking about taking a trip to South Carolina for a long weekend. I had lost my job a week or so prior and just wanted to get out of the city for an adventure. But, duh, I had just lost my job. There was no way that I could get a flight, a hotel in SC and do all of the things we would want to do when I had no income and was living off savings. So we decided that we would head to Martha’s Vineyard instead. One of my friends from Minnesota is in this incredible band that plays on the island all season as well so it was super fun to see her.
Now, if you are familiar with MV, you know that it is not cheap. However, there ended up being three of us and we went on the last weekend of the season so we found a great price on the hotel and really just ate out for one breakfast and a dinner. We were a little worried about the weather since it was technically fall but the fact that we were able to get away for the weekend just the girls made it worth it.
Kendra and Pooja are two girls that I met here is Boston. They are both incredible, strong women who are not afraid to speak their mind and tell it how it is. No sugar coating just straight up talk – and the weekend we were there, I definitely needed that! I, stupidly, had still been talking to my ex (the one in England). Side note: I had already planned my trip to England and was supposed to see him; he was even going to possibly come to Brussels for the one night I was there. We had been texting/talking for almost eight months, and boy does he talk a great game. Seriously. Any person would fall for his crap.
Well, we danced a lot and got a little drunk and I decided that at 1:00am, sitting on our beautiful deck, I would call him out on some of his bullshit. Guess what, he did not like that AT ALL. Weird, right!? The next morning I was trying to figure out if I should apologize for the things that I said (they were not mean, they were actually kind of sweet, just matter of fact) and decided that there was no reason I should apologize. Everything that I was feeling and everything that I said to him was completely justified. I chose to look past what he had done five years ago because, as you may know, I see the good in everyone. I learned that morning, thanks to Kendra and Pooja’s support, that sometimes, people don’t change.
And even more, the three of us and my MN friend went to the beach (literally the perfect day) and it was there that I finally started to feel good. Talking with Maria, Kendra and Pooja about life and our thoughts and the things that make us who we are (I know, kind of deep for the beach) I finally felt like I am worth so much more than I had given myself credit for. Do I have the body I want, no. But I am physically capable of so many things. Do I think I could be more successful in my career, yes. But I also know that there are steps I can take to get there. I just put so much pressure on myself and trying to be perfect that I forgot to see how great I am right now.
I feel like so many of are in this boat that is just ready to tip over because of what we are “supposed” to look like, feel like, be like. But in reality, that is all bullshit. It took a few new friends, an old acquaintance, some beer, and the sound of waves from the ocean to make me FINALLY realize that I am good enough. WE ARE ALL GOOD ENOUGH! And I hate that this is finally getting through to me at 30. Although, it could have taken longer.
The Nicest Masshole found her mojo!