Karma is a Little B****

Dear Karma, I don’t actually think you are a little b****. You do have a hilarious way of proving you are the one that wears the pants in our relationship though. I would really love it if you could just be 100% on my side for the foreseeable future. Love, Bry.

As defined by the Google Dictionary:

Karma – kar·ma /ˈkärmə/ – noun

(in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. Informal: destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

“A person’s actions in this and previous states of existence…deciding the fate in future existences”. OH. LORD. That right there is a lot of pressure to put on someone. It brings so many thoughts to the front of my mind; what about when I was 10 and fought with my brother all the time? What about when I was 16 and my mental health was seriously compromised and I was not a great daughter? What about in college when I drank a little too much? What about a few weeks ago when I cancelled plans on someone because I was honestly too lazy to do anything and just wanted to hang with Mika? All of those don’t even include my “previous state of existence”.

I have always wondered if I do have past lives and what those were. I sense that I do but need to educate myself more/find someone who can tell/help me figure it out.

WARNING: This post is going to get a bit more woo-woo than I normally get. However, I am sick of talking about my ex for the time being. Deal with it.

“Reincarnation of an ‘individual self’ is only as possible to the extent of believing that your sense of ‘self’ – your ego – is real.” -Sol

I definitely believe that my “self” is real. Sol states that although there is something in all of us that is ever-changing, pure awareness remains constant. He describes it in much more detail but that is the gist of it (if you want to read the whole quote I added the link below). I Googled “past life” and a bunch of tests and articles came up. One of them even said I was a Banker in my past life – LOL, no chance – but that was a four question quiz. A couple articles I read with titles similar to, “x Signs your Soul has Reincarnated” told me that yes, I have had at least one past life.

So where the hell does that leave me?

I don’t know about you, but I think I need to seriously figure out who/what I was in my past existence(s) in order to understand my life in the present. Which brings me back to karma. I fully believe in it, but I have been having a very hard time believing that it will catch up to everyone – almost like it only occurs to those who believe. Like Santa?

For example – there are so many people who could help SO many people but choose to buy yachts and a fourth house instead. How does that work? If I have $1 bill on me when I see someone on the street begging/homeless, I give it to them. It is just something I do – and also the reason I got my forearm tattoo when I first moved to Boston.

Side note: I went on a first date with the guy when I moved out here. After we had a couple of drinks and were able to talk for a while, we decided to head to another bar. We walked past a homeless man downtown and I gave him a $1 bill since I happened to have one. The guy I was on the date with literally asked me, “do you just see the good in everyone?!”. YES, you fool! Yes I do. We did not work out. 

See the good - Tattoo

Another example – Donald Trump is the most disgusting, and honestly stupidest, human being in the USA. I would even go as far as saying in the world but there are a lot of really terrible humans out there. He consciously makes decisions that; 1. hurt a majority of the people who call the US their home, 2. demean anyone who is not a straight, white, Christian, and rich male, 3. chooses to determine the fate of the the US based on his own agenda, and 4. rip this country apart because of racism, biases, bigotry and stereotypes. Please help me understand how the fuck this man has not gotten hit by a bus.

Where is karma in these cases!? If you know, please comment because I am really asking this question. This post all stemmed from something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I was on the bus headed into Boston for work. My stop is about half way through the route so people who get on any stops after me have a likely chance of having to stand. Sitting all around me were very able bodied people, probably 70% younger males. An elderly woman stepped on the bus, looked around, asked the bus driver if it was all standing (it was at this point), and was about to get off and wait for the next. NO ONE MOVED OR SAID ANYTHING. There are signs saying to get off your ass and give the people who need the seats in the front your spot. So, before she could step off, I stood up and shouted that she could have my seat. She was very grateful and all was good in the world.

I texted a couple of my besties and my Kappa group text that, “I just gave my seat up on the bus for someone. Karma is def going to be on my side today”. Literally those words. You can ask them. I was feeling good, it was a Friday, the office was going to be quiet. I was able to make it to Starbucks before my chiropractor appointment, the weather was beautiful. It was a great start to my day,

And then…Spilled yogurt

Yup, that is my entire Triple Berry Trio Parfait from Starbucks all over the floor. The brand new floor of the brand new office that my company moved into in February. What you aren’t seeing is ALL of the granola, wet and sticky from some of the yogurt, inside my backpack. And all the fruit and yogurt that was on the inside and outside as well. If you look closely, you will see that about 63% of my backpack is wet because I spent 20 minutes trying to clean it in the sink. COME ON. If that isn’t a buzz kill then you have the patience of a freaking nun.

After doing a good deed, this is how karma repays me. Is it because I “bragged” about it to my friends? Is it because she was like, “oh, don’t worry, let me knock you down a couple notches so your head doesn’t get too big”? NEWS FLASH BITCH – I have dealt with a lot of bull shit lately and I would appreciate it if you gave me a little break! Woosah, Bry, woosah.

I have said it a million times, what is meant to be is meant to be, and I one million percent believe that. But I also believe that there is a more powerful energy around us that has the ability to impact us and our lives based on out actions. It makes me sleep a little easier hoping that what goes around come around. It has been tough to continue to hold this mindset with everything that is going on in the world right now, but what else can we do? We can’t control anything – unless you are one of the top 5% and can legit control whatever you want because you’re rich as hell or own the insurance companies. And in that case, hunny, come on over.

Yoga is boring AF to me. But I also can’t meditate because that is also boring AF to me and I can’t shut my brain off. And don’t get me started on journaling – although this blog is kind of like a journal. However, I have had a few people tell me I should maybe try yoga again because it is good for the soul. The peace and quiet is nurturing to mind and body. I think we could all use a little peace. I will think about it and report back.

Until then, praying for some solid POSITIVE karma to influence your life.